Pondering Life : Pursuing God

The 4 ‘T’s of Talk: a critical part of the art of communication

1. Time

WHEN is the best TIME to talk?

Sometimes there is never a ‘comfortable’ or ‘perfect’ time to talk about important stuff but there is usually a better time. Is always good rule of thumb to ask for permission to discuss a topic rather than be a time and space intruder.

Be sensitive to the timing ⏱️ and rhythm 🥁 of the conversation. I know I struggle with this but always remember God gave you 2 ears 👂👂 and 2 eyes 👁️👁️ yet just one mouth 👄 for a very good reason. Listen and observe twice if not four times as much as you talk. Thoughtful and open ended questions are so important. Remember, curiosity before judgement!

Remember the sound of silence is powerful; the powerful pause.

2. Tone

Keep in my WHY you are conversing and that will help ‘set, mirror and maintain the TONE‘.

Voice inflection and volume are critical elements to tone.

Check out this example:

I ran to the store. / I ran not the other guy.

I ran to the store. / I ran but I didn’t walk nor drive there.

I ran to the store. I went to the store not ordering online.

Isn’t the an interesting power of inflectional tone?

This is all about reading and listening between the word and lines. Also, pay attention to body language. NLP is a great way to help understand communication.

3. Technique

The is the HOW elements of conversation regarding the TECHNIQUES of using words, vocabulary, grammar, linguistics etc.

The biggest technique is the power of listening and being curious, as discussed previously.

One great method is to choose a Word to mindset on for a year along with expanding one’s vocabulary.

4. Truth

Yes, the truth matters…ultimately. ‘It is what it is’ is a popular saying as is ‘honesty is the best policy’ for good reason. With that said, the truth is not a license to be a jerk and insensitive.

In order to be a successful purveyor of the truth, we need to dwell in the land of reality and maintain a full, 360 degree holistic perspective while understanding the difference between fundamental principles and individual preferences; majors and minors.